21. None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter. 20. Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil. 19. Your "Do you smell ...
1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed! 2. Be thankful your computer isn't down! 3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down! 4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus! 5. ...
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist when early in the morning I received a call from his office:I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30AM. I had just packed everyone off ...
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield ...
There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine. The five questions are: 1 - "What are you thinking?" 2 - "Do ...
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were ...
An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession. He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked ...
He walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Sam says excitedly, "Come on,Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything ...
A husband and a wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find that it is overloaded ...
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that ...
A daughter comes home from the peace corps in Uganda and surprises her mother who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoh ball soup. The mother is so thrilled she ...
In the bar at the top of the Empire State Building there are two men sitting together. Guy #1 says to Guy #2, "I bet you that I can jump out of that window over there and come up those stairs in just ...
If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant ...
