A priest is sitting in his confessional and hears an old man's voice on the other side of the screen. The old man says, "Father, I'm eighty-one years old, I've been married to the same woman for fifty-four years, and have always been faithful. But yesterday, I made wild, passionate love with a pair of lovely eighteen-year-old twin sisters."

The priest asks, "When was the last time you went to confession?"

The old man replies, "Never ... I'm Jewish."

The priest is puzzled. "Then why did you come here today to tell me this?"

The old man says, "Oh ... heck ... I'm telling everybody!!!"